Miss Trader

Here I sit watching The Voice in a trough of popcorn (Skinny Girl Popcorn. Of course.) thinking, “How apropos?” I started my blog in 2008 in a vat of popcorn pondering my path and questionable choices. Not much has changed. I lost 10lbs. Finally! Then gained it backā€¦ I fell in and out of “love” a number of times. I’ve changed careers a bunch. I’ve just been bouncing along the last 10 years one step forward, two steps back. I’ve learned a ton, matured a little, and still laugh at farts.

I’m taking another swing at this. I haven’t felt like writing in forever. No one asks about it anymore, they don’t ask when I’m going to get married, or if I’m going to have children. As a recap, and foreshadowing, Bumble is my new best friend and I gave up sugar for 30 days. It lasted until Thanksgiving but you know I’ll be talking about it again soon. Very soon.

I also did something somewhat out of the ordinary. I signed up for an interactive trader class. Seriously. I’ve been immersed in stock lingo for the past couple of weeks. Part of the requirement to get my money back, which they promise, is to do 15 trades within 45 days. What. Was. I. Thinking???

First of all, where am I going to get the money to start trading?!? My notes clearly state that 8 out of 10 trades fail. FAIL. In case you missed that word. Obviously, I did. They get you by going in for the sales kill at the end of the night when you’re ready to eat your arm off and your blood sugar is low. That’s always a recipe for poor decisions leading to disaster. Second of all, I haven’t balanced a check book in 30 years! Can I just tell you? I am the last person I want to be managing anyone’s money, especially mine.

So, there you have it. Fasten your seat belts. We’re going to learn about stocks and I’m going to gently encourage you to give up sugar. If I can do it, anyone can. No joke. We’re also going to review the ups and downs of online dating. Together.