Close Encounter of the Handsome Kind

God has a sense of humor. It was a cold and rainy Sunday, I spent most of the day on the couch and never bothered to put on makeup or real clothes. Thankfully, I did brush my teeth. I left for the grocery store with sweatpants, sneakers and a side braid. I had to wear a hat to try to cover the pimple I had just operated on in the middle of my forehead but closer to my eyebrows. I took a quick glance in the mirror and thought, “I’m not going to see anyone I know.”

I had just made an awesome Pasta e Fagiole with plenty of beans that started to affect me in the shampoo aisle, which was clear of shoppers. I contemplated farting but decided against it. I had learned my lesson years ago on that front. Thank God, I held it in, someone turned into the aisle. I didn’t take a good look at him but thanked my lucky stars. As luck would have it, he asked for my help finding a pencil sharpener, the kind everyone had in their school bag in junior high. I suggested an eyeliner pencil and tried to help him find it.

Can I just tell you? That’s when I took a good look at him and just shook my head on the inside. HANDSOME. Very handsome and wearing an awesome hat. We chatted for a bit and walked away. I immediately wondered if my hat was covering my pimple. Ugh.

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Batman and the Purple Bra

I went to the outlets this weekend with my mom to buy baby stuff for my sister, Marya. After spending a small fortune at Carters, she needed to go into Maidenform for bras and underwear. It seemed to take forever but I found a pretty purple top for the gym.

A little boy with a batman mask, and his dad tailing him, ran through the aisles and around the bra and underwear racks. Batman made his way to me at my 70% off rack. He looked to be around 5 and may have had a speech impediment. He wanted to help me find something to match my purple shirt.

Much to his father’s horror, he picked a lacy, purple bra for me. I thanked him for his help and took it to the register. (I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.) He bounced along behind me and proudly told his mother, the cashier, he helped to find me something to cover my nipples. His mother turned beet red and started apologizing profusely through nervous giggles.

Can I just tell you? I think his father fainted.